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SPAIN - Chapter IV

My Amours With Donna Ignazia--My Imprisonment At Buen Retiro--
My Triumph--I Am Commended to the Venetian Ambassador by 
One of the State Inquisitors


We entered the ball-room and walked round several times.  Donna Ignazia
was in such a state of ecstasy that I felt her trembling, and augured
well for my amorous projects.  Though liberty, nay, license, seemed to
reign supreme, there was a guard of soldiers ready to arrest the first
person who created any disturbance.  We danced several minuets and square
dances, and at ten o'clock we went into the supper-room, our conversation
being very limited all the while, she not speaking for fear of
encouraging me too much, and I on account of my poor knowledge of the
Spanish language.  I left her alone for a moment after supper, and went
to the box, where I expected to find Madame Pichona, but it was occupied
by maskers, who were unknown to me, so I rejoined my partner, and we went
on dancing the minuets and quadrilles till the fandango was announced.  I
took my place with my partner, who danced it admirably, and seemed
astonished to find herself so well supported by a foreigner.  This dance
had excited both of us, so, after taking her to the buffet and giving her
the best wines and liqueurs procurable, I asked her if she were content
with me.  I added that I was so deeply in love with her that unless she
found some means of making me happy I should undoubtedly die of love.  I
assured her that I was ready to face all hazards.

"By making you happy," she replied, "I shall make myself happy, too.  I
will write to you to-morrow, and you will find the letter sewn into the
hood of my domino."

"You will find me ready to do anything, fair Ignazia, if you will give me
hope."

At last the ball was over, and we went out and got into the carriage.
The mother woke up, and the coachman drove off, and I, taking the girl's
hands, would have kissed them.  However, she seemed to suspect that I had
other intentions, and held my hands clasped so tightly that I believe I
should have found it a hard task to pull them away.  In this position
Donna Ignazia proceeded to tell her mother all about the ball, and the
delight it had given her.  She did not let go my hands till we got to the
corner of their street, when the mother called out to the coachman to
stop, not wishing to give her neighbours occasion for slander by stopping
in front of their own house.

The next day I sent for the domino, and in it I found a letter from Donna
Ignazia, in which she told me that a Don Francisco de Ramos would call on
me, that he was her lover, and that he would inform me how to render her
and myself happy.

Don Francisco wasted no time, for the next morning at eight o'clock my
page sent in his name.  He told me that Donna Ignazia, with whom he spoke
every night, she being at her window and he in the street, had informed
him that she and I had been at the ball together.  She had also told him
that she felt sure I had conceived a fatherly affection for her, and she
had consequently prevailed upon him to call on me, being certain that I
would treat him as my own son.  She had encouraged him to ask me to lend
him a hundred doubloons which would enable them to get married before the
end of the carnival.

"I am employed at the Mint," he added, "but my present salary is a very
small one.  I hope I shall get an increase before long, and then I shall
be in a position to make Ignazia happy.  All my relations live at Toledo,
and I have no friends at Madrid, so when we set up our only friends will
be the father and mother of my wife and yourself, for I am sure you love
her like a daughter."

"You have probed my heart to its core," I replied, "but just now I am
awaiting remittances, and have very little money about me.  You may count
on my discretion, and I shall be delighted to see you whenever you care
to call on me."

The gallant made me a bow, and took his departure in no good humour.  Don
Francisco was a young man of twenty-two, ugly and ill-made.  I resolved
to nip the intrigue in the bud, for my inclination for Donna Ignazia was
of the lightest description; and I went to call on Madame Pichona, who
had given me such a polite invitation to come and see her.  I had made
enquiries about her, and had found out that she was an actress and had
been made rich by the Duke of Medina-Celi.  The duke had paid her a visit
in very cold weather, and finding her without a fire, as she was too poor
to buy coals, had sent her the next day a silver stove, which he had
filled with a hundred thousand pezzos duros in gold, amounting to three
hundred thousand francs in French money.  Since then Madame Pichona lived
at her ease and received good company.

She gave me a warm reception when I called on her, but her looks were
sad.  I began by saying that as I had not found her in her box on the
last ball night I had ventured to come to enquire after her health.

"I did not go," said she, "for on that day died my only friend the Duke
of Medina-Celi.  He was ill for three days."

"I sympathise with you.  Was the duke an old man?"

"Hardly sixty.  You have seen him; he did not look his age."

"Where have I seen him?"

"Did he not bring you to my box?"

"You don't say so!  He did not tell me his name and I never saw him
before."

I was grieved to hear of his death; it was in all probability a
misfortune for me as well as Madame Pichona.  All the duke's estate
passed to a son of miserly disposition, who in his turn had a son who was
beginning to evince the utmost extravagance.

I was told that the family of Medina-Celi enjoys thirty titles of
nobility.

One day a young man called on me to offer me, as a foreigner, his
services in a country which he knew thoroughly.

"I am Count Marazzini de Plaisance," he began, "I am not rich and I have
come to Madrid to try and make my fortune.  I hope to enter the bodyguard
of his Catholic majesty.  I have been indulging in the amusements of the
town ever since I came.  I saw you at the ball with an unknown beauty.  I
don't ask you to tell me her name, but if you are fond of novelty I can
introduce you to all the handsomest girls in Madrid."

If my experience had taught me such wholesome lessons as I might have
expected, I should have shown the impudent rascal the door.  Alas!
I began to be weary of my experience and the fruits of it; I began to
feel the horrors of a great void; I had need of some slight passion to
wile away the dreary hours.  I therefore made this Mercury welcome, and
told him I should be obliged by his presenting me to some beauties,
neither too easy nor too difficult to access.

"Come with me to the ball," he rejoined, "and I will shew you some women
worthy of your attention."

The ball was to take place the same evening, and I agreed; he asked me to
give him some dinner, and I agreed to that also.  After dinner he told me
he had no money, and I was foolish enough to give him a doubloon.  The
fellow, who was ugly, blind of one eye, and full of impudence, shewed me
a score of pretty women, whose histories he told me, and seeing me to be
interested in one of them he promised to bring her to a procuress.  He
kept his word, but he cost me dear; for the girl only served for an
evening's amusement.

Towards the end of the carnival the noble Don Diego, the father of Donna
Ignazia, brought me my boots, and the thanks of his wife and himself for
the pleasure I had given her at the ball.

"She is as good as she is beautiful," said I, "she deserves to prosper,
and if I have not called on her it is only that I am anxious to do
nothing which could injure her reputation."

"Her reputation, Senor Caballero, is above all reproach, and I shall be
delighted to see you whenever you honour me with a call."

"The carnival draws near to its end," I replied, "and if Donna Ignazia
would like to go to another ball I shall be happy to take her again."

"You must come and ask her yourself."

"I will not fail to do so."

I was anxious to see how the pious girl, who had tried to make me pay a
hundred doubloons for the chance of having her after her marriage, would
greet me, so I called the same day.  I found her with her mother, rosary
in hand, while her noble father was botching old boots.  I laughed
inwardly at being obliged to give the title of don to a cobbler who would
not make boots because he was an hidalgo.  Hidalgo, meaning noble, is
derived from 'higo de albo', son of somebody, and the people, whom the
nobles call 'higos de nade', sons of nobody, often revenge themselves by
calling the nobles hideputas, that is to say, sons of harlots.

Donna Ignazia rose politely from the floor, where she was sitting cross-
legged, after the Moorish fashion.  I have seen exalted ladies in this
position at Madrid, and it is very common in the antechambers of the
Court and the palace of the Princess of the Asturias.  The Spanish women
sit in church in the same way, and the rapidity with which they can
change this posture to a kneeling or a standing one is something amazing.

Donna Ignazia thanked me for honouring her with a visit, adding that she
would never have gone to the ball if it had not been for me, and that she
never hoped to go to it again, as I had doubtless found someone else more
worthy of my attentions.

"I have not found anyone worthy to be preferred before you," I replied,
"and if you would like to go to the ball again I should be most happy to
take you."

The father and mother were delighted with the pleasure I was about to
give to their beloved daughter.  As the ball was to take place the same
evening, I gave the mother a doubloon to get a mask and domino.  She went
on her errand, and, as Don Diego also went out on some business, I found
myself alone with the girl.  I took the opportunity of telling her that
if she willed I would be hers, as I adored her, but that I could not sigh
for long.

"What can you ask, and what can I offer, since I must keep myself pure
for my husband?"

"You should abandon yourself to me without reserve, and you may be sure
that I should respect your innocence."

I then proceeded to deliver a gentle attack, which she repulsed, with a
serious face.  I stopped directly, telling her that she would find me
polite and respectful, but not in the least affectionate, for the rest of
the evening.

Her face had blushed a vivid scarlet, and she replied that her sense of
duty obliged her to repulse me in spite of herself.

I liked this metaphysical line of argument.  I saw that I had only to
destroy the idea of duty in her and all the rest would follow.  What I
had to do was to enter into an argument, and to bear away the prize
directly I saw her at a loss for an answer.

"If your duty," I began, "forces you to repulse me in spite of yourself,
your duty is a burden on you.  If it is a burden on you, it is your
enemy, and if it is your enemy why do you suffer it thus lightly to gain
the victory?  If you were your own friend, you would at once expel this
insolent enemy from your coasts."

"That may not be."

"Yes, it may.  Only shut your eyes."

"Like that?"

"Yes."

I immediately laid hands on a tender place; she repulsed me, but more
gently and not so seriously as before.

"You may, of course, seduce me," she said, "but if you really love me you
will spare me the shame."

"Dearest Ignazia, there is no shame in a girl giving herself up to the
man she loves.  Love justifies all things.  If you do not love me I ask
nothing of you."

"But how shall I convince you that I am actuated by love and not by
complaisance?"

"Leave me to do what I like, and my self-esteem will help me to believe
you."

"But as I cannot be certain that you will believe me, my duty plainly
points to a refusal."

"Very good, but you will make me sad and cold."

"Then I shall be sad, too."

At these encouraging words I embraced her, and obtained some solid
favours with one hardy hand.  She made no opposition, and I was well
pleased with what I had got; and for a first attempt I could not well
expect more.

At this juncture the mother came in with the dominos and gloves.  I
refused to accept the change, and went away to return in my carriage, as
before.

Thus the first step had been taken, and Donna Ignazia felt it would be
ridiculous not to join in with my conversation at the ball which all
tended to procuring the pleasure of spending our nights together.  She
found me affectionate all the evening, and at supper I did my best to get
her everything she liked.  I made her see that the part she had at last
taken was worthy of praise, and not blame.  I filled her pockets with
sweets, and put into my own pockets two bottles of ratafia, which I
handed over to the mother, who was asleep in the carriage.  Donna Ignazia
gratefully refused the quadruple I wished to give her, saying that if it
were in my power to make such presents, I might give the money to her
lover whenever he called on me.

"Certainly," I answered, "but what shall I say to prevent his taking
offence?"

"Tell him that it is on account of what he asked you.  He is poor, and I
am sure he is in despair at not seeing me in the window to-night.  I
shall tell him I only went to the ball with you to please my father."

Donna Ignazia, a mixture of voluptuousness and piety, like most Spanish
women, danced the fandango with so much fire that no words could have
expressed so well the Joys that were in store for me.  What a dance it
is!  Her bosom was heaving and her blood all aflame, and yet I was told
that for the greater part of the company the dance was wholly innocent,
and devoid of any intention.  I pretended to believe it, but I certainly
did not.  Ignazia begged me to come to mass at the Church of the Soledad
the next day at eight o'clock.  I had not yet told her that it was there
I had seen her first.  She also asked me to come and see her in the
evening, and said she would send me a letter if we were not left alone
together.

I slept till noon, and was awoke by Marazzini, who came to ask me to give
him some dinner.  He told me he had seen me with my fair companion the
night before, and that he had vainly endeavoured to find out who she was.
I bore with this singularly misplaced curiosity, but when it came to his
saying that he would have followed us if he had had any money, I spoke to
him in a manner that made him turn pale.  He begged pardon, and promised
to bridle his curiosity for the future.  He proposed a party of pleasure
with the famous courtezan Spiletta, whose favours were dear, but I
declined, for my mind was taken up with the fair Ignazia, whom I
considered a worthy successor to Charlotte.

I went to the church, and she saw me when she came in, followed by the
same companion as before.

She knelt down at two or three paces from me, but did not once look in my
direction.  Her friend, on the other hand, inspected me closely; she
seemed about the same age as Ignazia, but she was ugly.  I also noticed
Don Francisco, and as I was going out of the church my rival followed me,
and congratulated me somewhat bitterly on my good fortune in having taken
his mistress a second time to the ball.  He confessed that he had been on
our track the whole evening, and that he should have gone away well
enough pleased if it had not been for the way in which we dance the
fandango.  I felt this was an occasion for a little gentle management,
and I answered good-humouredly that the love he thought he noticed was
wholly imaginary, and that he was wrong to entertain any suspicions as to
so virtuous a girl as Donna Ignazia.  At the same time I placed an ounce
in his hand, begging him to take it on account.  He did so with an
astonished stare, and, calling me his father and guardian angel, swore an
eternal gratitude.

In the evening I called on Don Diego, where I was regaled with the
excellent ratafia I had given the mother, and the whole family began to
speak of the obligations Spain owed to the Count of Aranda.

"No exercise is more healthful than dancing," said Antonia, the mother,
"and before his time balls were strictly forbidden.  In spite of that he
is hated for having expelled 'los padres de la compagnia de Jesus', and
for his sumptuary regulations.  But the poor bless his name, for all the
money produced by the balls goes to them."

"And thus," said the father, "to go to the ball is to do a pious work."

"I have two cousins," said Ignazia, "who are perfect angels of goodness.
I told them that you had taken me to the ball; but they are so poor that
they have no hope of going.  If you like you can make them quite happy by
taking them on the last day of the carnival.  The ball closes at
midnight, so as not to profane Ash Wednesday."

"I shall be happy to oblige you, all the more as your lady mother will
not be obliged to wait for us in the carriage."

"You are very kind; but I shall have to introduce you to my aunt; she is
so particular.  When she knows you, I am sure she will consent, for you
have all the air of discretion.  Go and see her to-day; she lives in the
next street, and over her door you will see a notice that lace is washed
within.  Tell her that my mother gave you the address.  To-morrow
morning, after mass, I will see to everything else, and you must come
here at noon to agree as to our meeting on the last day of the carnival."

I did all this, and the next day I heard that it was settled.

"I will have the dominos ready at my house," I said, "and you must come
in at the back door.  We will dine in my room, mask, and go to the ball.
The eldest of your cousins must be disguised as a man."

"I won't tell her anything about that, for fear she might think it a sin,
but once in your house you will have no difficulty in managing her."

The younger of the two cousins was ugly, but looked like a woman, where
as the elder looked like an ugly dressed man in woman's clothes.  She
made an amusing contrast with Donna Ignazia, who looked most seductive
when she laid aside her air of piety.

I took care that everything requisite for our disguises should be at hand
in a neighbouring closet, unbeknown to my rascally page.  I gave him a
piece of money in the morning, and told him to spend the last day of the
carnival according to his own taste, as I should not require his services
till noon the day after.

I ordered a good dinner, and a waiter to serve it, at the tavern, and got
rid of Marazzini by giving him a doubloon.  I took great pains over the
entertainment I was to give the two cousins and the fair Ignazia, whom I
hoped that day to make my mistress.  It was all quite a novelty for me; I
had to do with three devotees, two hideous and the third ravishingly
beautiful, who had already had a foretaste of the joys in store for her.

They came at noon, and for an hour I discoursed to them in a moral and
unctuous manner.  I had taken care to provide myself with some excellent
wine, which did not fail to take effect on the three girls, who were not
accustomed to a dinner that lasted two hours.  They were not exactly
inebriated, but their spirits were worked up to a pitch they had never
attained before.

I told the elder cousin, who might be twenty-five years old, that I was
going to disguise her as a man; consternation appeared on her features,
but I had expected as much, and Donna Ignazia told her she was only too
lucky, and her sister observed that she did not think it could be a sin.

"If it were a sin," said I, "do you suppose that I should have suggested
it to your virtuous sister."

Donna Ignazia, who knew the Legendarium by heart, corroborated my
assertion by saying that the blessed St. Marina had passed her whole life
in man's clothes; and this settled the matter.

I then burst into a very high-flown eulogium of her intellectual
capacity, so as to enlist her vanity in the good cause.

"Come with me," said I, "and do you ladies wait here; I want to enjoy
your surprise when you see her in man's clothes."

The ugly cousin made a supreme effort and followed me, and when she had
duly inspected her disguise I told her to take off her boots and to put
on white stockings and shoes, of which I had provided several pairs.  I
sat down before her, and told her that if she suspected me of any
dishonourable intentions she would commit a mortal sin, as I was old
enough to be her father.  She replied that she was a good Christian, but
not a fool.  I fastened her garters for her, saying that I should never
have supposed she had so well-shapen and so white a leg, which compliment
made her smile in a satisfied manner.

Although I had a fine view of her thighs, I observed no traces of a blush
on her face.  I then gave her a pair, of my breeches, which fitted her
admirably, though I was five inches taller than she, but this difference
was compensated by the posterior proportions, with which, like most
women, she was bountifully endowed.  I turned away to let her put them on
in freedom, and, having given her a linen shirt, she told me she had
finished before she had buttoned it at the neck.  There may possibly have
been a little coquetry in this, as I buttoned the shirt for her, and was
thus gratified with a sight of her splendid breast.  I need not say
whether she was pleased or not at my refraining from complimenting her
upon her fine proportions.  When her toilette was finished I surveyed her
from head to foot, and pronounced her to be a perfect man, with the
exception of one blemish.

"I am sorry for that."

"Will you allow me to arrange your shirt so as to obviate it?"

"I shall be much obliged, as I have never dressed in man's clothes
before."

I then sat down in front of her, and, after unbuttoning the fly, arranged
the shirt in a proper manner.  In doing so I allowed myself some small
liberties, but I toyed with such a serious air that she seemed to take it
all as a matter of course.

When I had put on her domino and mask I led her forth, and her sister and
Donna Ignazia congratulated her on her disguise, saying that anybody
would take her for a man.

"Now it's your turn," I said to the younger one.

"Go with him," said the elder, "Don Jaime is as honest a man as you will
find in Spain."

There was really not much to be done to the younger sister, her disguise
being simply a mask and domino, but as I wanted to keep Ignazia a long
time I made her put on white stockings, change her kerchief, and a dozen
other trifles.  When she was ready I brought her forth, and Donna Ignazia
noticing that she had changed her stockings and kerchief, asked her
whether I were as expert at dressing a lady as at turning a lady into a
gentleman.

"I don't know," she replied, "I did everything for myself."

Next came the turn of Don Diego's daughter, and as soon as I had her in
the closet I did my pleasure on her, she submitting with an air that
seemed to say, "I only give in because I can't resist."  Wishing to save
her honour I withdrew in time, but in the second combat I held her for
half an hour to my arms.  However, she was naturally of a passionate
disposition, and nature had endowed her with a temperament able to resist
the most vigorous attacks.  When decency made us leave the closet, she
remarked to her cousins,

"I thought I should never have done; I had to alter the whole fit of the
domino."

I admired her presence of mind.

At nightfall we went to the ball, at which the fandango might be danced
ad libitum by a special privilege, but the crowd was so great that
dancing was out of the question.  At ten we had supper, and then walked
up and down, till all at once the two orchestras became silent.  We heard
the church clocks striking midnight the carnival was over, and Lent had
begun.

This rapid transition from wantonness to devotion, from paganism to
Christianity, has something startling and unnatural about it.  At fifty-
nine minutes past eleven the senses are all aglow; midnight sounds, and
in a minute they are supposed to be brought low, and the heart to be full
of humble repentance; it is an absurdity, an impossibility.

I took the three girls to my house to take off their dominos, and we then
escorted the two cousins home.  When we had left them for a few minutes
Donna Ignazia told me that she would like a little coffee.  I understood
her, and took her to my house, feeling sure of two hours of mutual
pleasure.

I took her to my room, and was just going out to order the coffee when I
met Don Francisco, who asked me plainly to let him come up, as he had
seen Donna Ignazia go in with me.  I had sufficient strength of mind to
conceal my rage and disappointment, and told him to come in, adding that
his mistress would be delighted at this unexpected visit.  I went
upstairs, and he followed me, and I shewed him into the room,
congratulating the lady on the pleasant surprise.

I expected that she would play her part as well as I had played mine, but
I was wrong.  In her rage she told him that she would never have asked me
to give her a cup of coffee if she had foreseen this piece of
importunity, adding that if he had been a gentleman he would have known
better than to intrude himself at such an hour.

In spite of my own anger I felt that I must take the poor devil's part;
he looked like a dog with a tin kettle tied to his tail.  I tried to calm
Donna Ignazia, telling her that Don Francisco had seen us by a mere
accident, and that it was I who had asked him to come upstairs, in the
hope of pleasing her.

Donna Ignazia feigned to be persuaded and asked her lover to sit down,
but she did not speak another word to him, confining her remarks to me,
saying how much she had enjoyed the ball, and how kind I had been to take
her cousins.

After he had taken a cup of coffee, Don Francisco bade us a good night.
I told him I hoped he would come and see me before Lent was over, but
Donna Ignazia only vouchsafed him a slight nod.  When he had gone she
said, sadly enough, that she was sorry he had deprived us both of our
pleasure, and that she was sure Don Francisco was still hanging about the
place, and that she dared not expose herself to his vengeance.  "So take
me home, but if you love me come and see me again.  The trick the stupid
fellow has played me shall cost him dear.  Are you sure I don't love
him?"

"Quite certain, for you love me too well to love anybody else."

Donna Ignazia gave me a hasty proof of her affection, and I escorted her
home, assuring her that she would be the sole object of my thoughts as
long as I stayed at Madrid.

The next day I dined with Mengs, and the day after that I was accosted in
the street by an ill-looking fellow, who bade me follow him to a
cloister, as he had something of importance to communicate to me.

As soon as he saw that we were unobserved, he told me that the Alcalde
Messa was going to pay me a visit that same night with a band of police,
"of whom," he added, "I am one.  He knows you have concealed weapons in
your room.  He knows, or thinks he knows, certain other things which
authorize him to seize your person and to take you to the prison where
persons destined for the galleys are kept.  I give you all this warning
because I believe you to be a man of honour.  Despise not my advice, but
look to yourself, and get into some place of security."

I credited what he told me, as the circumstance of my having arms was
perfectly true, so I gave the man a doubloon, and, instead of calling on
Donna Ignazia, as I intended, I went back to my lodging, and after
putting the weapons under my cloak I went to Mengs's, leaving word at the
caf‚ to send me my page as soon as he came back.  In Mengs's house I was
safe, as it belonged to the king.

The painter was an honest fellow, but proud and suspicious in excess.  He
did not refuse me an asylum for the night, but he told me that I must
look out for some other refuge, as the alcalde must have some other
accusation against me, and that knowing nothing of the merits or demerits
of the case he could not take any part in it.  He gave me a room and we
supped together, discussing the matter all the time, I persisting that
the possession of arms was my only offence, and he replying that if it

were so I should have awaited the alcalde fearlessly, as it stood to
reason that a man had a right to keep defensive weapons in his own room.
To this I answered that I had only come to him to avoid passing the night
in prison, as I was certain that the man had told me the truth.

"To-morrow I shall look out for another lodging."

I confessed, however, that it would have been wiser of me to leave my
pistols and musket in my room.

"Yes, and you might have remained there yourself.  I did not think you
were so easily frightened."

As we were arguing it over my landlord came and said that the alcalde
with thirty constables had been to my apartment and had broken open the
door.  He had searched everything, but unsuccessfully, and had gone away
after sealing the room and its contents.  He had arrested and imprisoned
my page on the charge of having warned me, "for otherwise," he said, "the
Venetian gentleman would never have gone to the house of Chevalier Mengs,
where he is out of my power."

At this Mengs agreed that I had been right in believing my informant's
tale, and he added that the first thing in the morning I should go and
protest my innocence before the Count of Aranda, but he especially urged
on me the duty of defending the poor page.  My landlord went his way, and
we continued the discussion, Mengs insisting on the page's innocence,
till at last I lost all patience, and said,--

"My page must be a thorough-paced scoundrel; the magistrate's arresting
him for warning me is an absolute proof that he knew of my approaching
arrest.  What is a servant who does not warn his master under such
circumstances but a rascal?  Indeed I am absolutely certain that he was
the informer, for he was the only person who knew where the arms were
concealed."

Mengs could find no answer to this, and left to go to bed.  I did the
same and had an excellent night.

Early the next morning the great Mengs sent me linen and all the
requisites of the toilette.  His maid brought me a cup of chocolate, and
his cook came to ask if I had permission to eat flesh-meat.  In such ways
a prince welcomes a guest, and bids him stay, but such behaviour in a
private person is equivalent to a hint to go.  I expressed my gratitude,
and only accepted a cup of chocolate and one handkerchief.

My carriage was at the door, and I was just taking leave of Mengs when an
officer appeared on the scene, and asked the painter if the Chevalier de
Casanova was in his house.

"I am the Chevalier de Casanova," said I.

"Then I hope you will follow me of your own free will to the prison of
Buen Retiro.  I cannot use force here, for this house is the king's, but
I warn you that in less than an hour the Chevalier Mengs will have orders
to turn you out, and then you will be dragged to prison, which would be
unpleasant for you.  I therefore advise you to follow me quietly, and to
give up such weapons as you may possess."

"The Chevalier Mengs will give you the weapons in question.  I have
carried them with me for eleven years; they are meant to protect me on
the highways.  I am ready to follow you, but first allow me to write four
notes; I shall not be half an hour."

"I can neither allow you to wait nor to write, but you will be at liberty
to do so after you have reached the prison."

"Very good; then I am ready to follow you, for I have no choice.  I shall
remember Spanish justice!"

I embraced Mengs, had the weapons put into my carriage, and got in with
the officer, who seemed a perfect gentleman.

He took me to the Castle of Buen Retiro, formerly a royal palace, and now
a prison.  When my conductor had consigned me to the officer of the watch
I was handed over to a corporal, who led me into a vast hall on the
ground floor of the building.  The stench was dreadful, and the prisoners
were about thirty, ten of them being soldiers.  There were ten or twelve
large beds, some benches, no tables, and no chairs.

I asked a guard to get me some pens, ink, and paper, and gave him a duro
for the purpose.  He took the coin smilingly, and went away, but he did
not return.  When I asked his brethren what had become of him they
laughed in my face.  But what surprised me the most was the sight of my
page and Marazzini, who told me in Italian that he had been there for
three days, and that he had not written to me as he had a presentiment
that we should soon meet.  He added that in a fortnight's time we should
be sent off under a heavy escort to work in some fortress, though we
might send our pleas to the Government, and might possibly be let out
after three or four years' imprisonment.

"I hope," he said, "not to be condemned before I am heard.  The alcalde
will come and interrogate you tomorrow, and your answers will be taken
down; that's all.  You may then be sent to hard labour in Africa."

"Has your case been heard yet?"

"They were at me about it for three hours yesterday."

"What kind of questions did they ask you?"

"They wished to know what banker furnished me with money for my expenses.
I told them I had not got a banker, and that I lived by borrowing from my
friends, in the expectation of becoming one of the king's body-guard.
They then asked me how it was that the Parmese ambassador knew nothing
about me, and I replied that I had never been presented to him.

"'Without the favour of your ambassador,' they objected, 'you could never
join the royal guard, and you must be aware of that, but the king's
majesty shall give you employment where you will stand in need of no
commendation;' and so the alcalde left me.  If the Venetian ambassador
does not interpose in your behalf you will be treated in the same way."

I concealed my rage, and sat down on a bed, which I left after three
hours, as I found myself covered with the disgusting vermin which seem
endemic in Spain.  The very sight of them made me sick.  I stood upright,
motionless, and silent, devouring the bile which consumed me.

There was no good in talking; I must write; but where was I to find
writing materials?  However, I resolved to wait in silence; my time must
come, sooner or later.

At noon Marazzini told me that he knew a soldier for whose
trustworthiness he would answer, and who would get me my dinner if I gave
him the money.

"I have no appetite," I replied, "and I am not going to give a farthing
to anyone till the stolen crown is restored to me."

He made an uproar over this piece of cheating, but the soldiers only
laughed at him.  My page then asked him to intercede with me, as he was
hungry, and had no money wherewith to buy food.

"I will not give him a farthing; he is no longer in my service, and would
to God I had never seen him!"

My companions in misery proceeded to dine on bad garlic soup and wretched
bread, washed down by plain water, two priests and an individual who was
styled corregidor excepted, and they seemed to fare very well.

At four o'clock one of Mengs's servants brought me a dinner which would
have sufficed for four.  He wanted to leave me the dinner and come for
the plates in the evening; but not caring to share the meal with the vile
mob around me I made him wait till I had done and come again at the same
time the next day, as I did not require any supper.  The servant obeyed.
Marazzini said rudely that I might at least have kept the bottle of wine;
but I gave him no answer.

At five o'clock Manucci appeared, accompanied by a Spanish officer.
After the usual compliments had passed between us I asked the officer if
I might write to my friends, who would not allow me to stay much longer
in prison if they were advised of my arrest.

"We are no tyrants," he replied; "you can write what letters you like."

"Then," said I, "as this is a free country, is it allowable for a soldier
who has received certain moneys to buy certain articles to pocket the
money and appropriate it to his own use?"

"What is his name?"

The guard had been relieved, and no one seemed to know who or where he
was.

"I promise you, sir," said the officer, "that the soldier shall be
punished and your money restored to you; and in the meanwhile you shall
have pens, ink, paper, a table, and a candle, immediately."

"And I," added Manucci, "promise you that one of the ambassador's
servants shall wait on you at eight o'clock to deliver any letters you
may write.

I took three crowns from my pocket, and told my fellow-prisoners that the
first to name the soldier who had deceived me should have the money;
Marazzini was the first to do so.  The officer made a note of the man's
name with a smile; he was beginning to know me; I had spent three crowns
to get back one, and could not be very avaricious.

Manucci whispered to me that the ambassador would do his best in a
confidential way to get my release, and that he had no doubt of his
success.

When my visitors were gone I sat down to write, but I had need of all my
patience.  The rascally prisoners crowded round me to read what I was
writing, and when they could not understand it they were impudent enough
to ask me to explain it to them.  Under the pretext of snuffing the
candle, they put it out.  However, I bore with it all.  One of the
soldiers said he would keep them quiet for a crown, but I gave him no
answer.  In spite of the hell around me, I finished my letters and sealed
them up.  They were no studied or rhetorical epistles, but merely the
expression of the fury with which I was consumed.

I told Mocenigo that it was his duty to defend a subject of his prince,
who had been arrested and imprisoned by a foreign power on an idle
pretext.  I shewed him that he must give me his protection unless I was
guilty, and that I had committed no offence against the law of the land.
I reminded him that I was a Venetian, in spite of my persecution at the
hands of the State Inquisitors, and that being a Venetian I had a right
to count on his protection.

To Don Emmanuel de Roda, a learned scholar, and the minister of justice,
I wrote that I did not ask any favour but only simple justice.

"Serve God and your master," said I.  "Let his Catholic majesty save me
from the hands of the infamous alcalde who has arrested me, an honest and
a law-abiding man, who came to Spain trusting in his own innocence and
the protection of the laws.  The person who writes to you, my lord, has a
purse full of doubloons in his pocket; he has already been robbed, and
fears assassination in the filthy den in which he has been imprisoned."

I wrote to the Duke of Lossada, requesting him to inform the king that
his servants had subjected to vile treatment a man whose only fault was
that he had a little money.  I begged him to use his influence with his
Catholic majesty to put a stop to these infamous proceedings.

But the most vigorous letter of all was the one I addressed to the Count
of Aranda.  I told him plainly that if this infamous action went on I
should be forced to believe that it was by his orders, since I had stated
in vain that I came to Madrid with an introduction to him from a
princess.

"I have committed no crime," I said; "what compensation am I to have when
I am released from this filthy and abominable place?  Set me at liberty
at once, or tell your hangmen to finish their work, for I warn you that
no one shall take me to the galleys alive."

According to my custom I took copies of all the letters, and I sent them
off by the servant whom the all-powerful Manucci despatched to the
prison.  I passed such a night as Dante might have imagined in his Vision
of Hell.  All the beds were full, and even if there had been a spare
place I would not have occupied it.  I asked in vain for a mattress, but
even if they had brought me one, it would have been of no use, for the
whole floor was inundated.  There were only two or three chamber utensils
for all the prisoners, and everyone discharged his occasions on the
floor.

I spent the night on a narrow bench without a back, resting my head on my
hands.

At seven o'clock the next morning Manucci came to see me; I looked upon
him as my Providence.  I begged him to take me down to the guard-room,
and give me some refreshment, for I felt quite exhausted.  My request was
granted, and as I told my sufferings I had my hair done by a barber.

Manucci told me that my letters would be delivered in the course of the
day, and observed, smilingly, that my epistle to the ambassador was
rather severe.  I shewed him copies of the three others I had written,
and the inexperienced young man told me that gentleness was the best way
to obtain favours.  He did not know that there are circumstances in which
a man's pen must be dipped in gall.  He told me confidentially that the
ambassador dined with Aranda that day, and would speak in my favour as a
private individual, adding that he was afraid my letter would prejudice
the proud Spaniard against me.

"All I ask of you," said I, "is not to tell the ambassador that you have
seen the letter I wrote to the Count of Aranda."

He promised he would keep the secret.

An hour after his departure I saw Donna Ignazia and her father coming in,
accompanied by the officer who had treated me with such consideration.
Their visit cut me to the quick; nevertheless, I felt grateful, for it
shewed me the 'goodness of Don Diego's heart and the love of the fair
devotee.

I gave them to understand, in my bad Spanish, that I was grateful for the
honour they had done me in visiting me in this dreadful situation.  Donna
Ignazia did not speak, she only wept in silence; but Don Diego gave me
clearly to understand that he would never have come to see me unless he
had felt certain that my accusation was a mistake or an infamous calumny.
He told me he was sure I should be set free, and that proper satisfaction
would be given me.

"I hope so," I replied, "for I am perfectly innocent of any offence."
I was greatly touched when the worthy man slipped into my hands a
rouleau, telling me it contained twelve quadruples, which I could repay
at my convenience.

It was more than a thousand francs, and my hair stood on end.  I pressed
his hand warmly, and whispered to him that I had fifty in my pocket,
which I was afraid to shew him, for fear the rascals around might rob me.
He put back his rouleau, and bade me farewell in tears, and I promised to
come and see him as soon as I should be set at liberty.

He had not sent in his name, and as he was very well dressed he was taken
for a man of importance.  Such characters are not altogether exceptional
in heroic Spain; it is a land of extremes.

At noon Mengs's servant came with a dinner that was choicer than before,
but not so plentiful.  This was just what I liked.  He waited for me to
finish, and went away with the plates, carrying my heartiest thanks to
his master.

At one o'clock an individual came up to me and bade me follow him.
He took me to a small room, where I saw my carbine and pistols.  In front
of me was the Alcalde Messa, seated at a table covered with documents,
and a policeman stood on each side of him.  The alcalde told me to sit
down, and to answer truly such questions as might be put to me, warning
me that my replies would be taken down.

"I do not understand Spanish well, and I shall only give written answers
to any questions that may be asked of me, in Italian, French, or Latin."

This reply, which I uttered in a firm and determined voice, seemed tp
astonish him.  He spoke to me for an hour, and I understood him very
well, but he only got one reply:

"I don't understand what you say.  Get a judge who understands one of the
languages I have named, and I will write down my answers."

The alcalde was enraged, but I did not let his ill-humour or his threats
disturb me.

Finally he gave me a pen, and told me to write my name, profession, and
business in Spain in Italian.  I could not refuse him this pleasure, so I
wrote as follows:

"My name is Jacques Casanova; I am a subject of the Republic of Venice,
by profession a man of letters, and in rank a Knight of the Golden Spur.
I have sufficient means, and I travel for my pleasure.  I am known to the
Venetian ambassador, the Count of Aranda, the Prince de la Catolica, the
Marquis of Moras, and the Duke of Lossada.  I have offended in no manner
against the laws of his Catholic majesty, but in spite of my innocence I
have been cast into a den of thieves and assassins by magistrates who
deserve a ten times greater punishment.  Since I have not infringed the
laws, his Catholic majesty must know that he has only one right over me,
and that is to order me to leave his realms, which order I am ready to
obey.  My arms, which I see before me, have travelled with me for the
last eleven years; I carry them to defend myself against highwaymen.
They were seen when my effects were examined at the Gate of Alcala, and
were not confiscated; which makes it plain that they have served merely
as a pretext for the infamous treatment to which I have been subjected."

After I had written out this document I gave it to the alcalde, who
called for an interpreter.  When he had had it read to him he rose
angrily and said to me,--

"Valga me Dios!  You shall suffer for your insolence."

With this threat he went away, ordering that I should be taken back to
prison.

At eight o'clock Manucci called and told me that the Count of Aranda had
been making enquiries about me of the Venetian ambassador, who had spoken
very highly in my favour, and expressed his regret that he could not take
my part officially on account of my being in disgrace with the State
Inquisitors.

"He has certainly been shamefully used," said the count, "but an
intelligent man should not lose his head.  I should have known nothing
about it, but for a furious letter he has written me; and Don
Emmanuel de Roda and the Duke of Lossada have received epistles in the
same style.  Casanova is in the right, but that is not the way to address
people."

"If he really said I was in the right, that is sufficient."

"He said it, sure enough."

"Then he must do me justice, and as to my style everyone has a style of
their own.  I am furious, and I wrote furiously.  Look at this place; I
have no bed, the floor is covered with filth, and I am obliged to sleep
on a narrow bench.  Don't you think it is natural that I should desire to
eat the hearts of the scoundrels who have placed me here?  If I do not
leave this hell by tomorrow, I shall kill myself, or go mad."

Manucci understood the horrors of my situation.  He promised to come
again early the next day, and advised me to see what money would do
towards procuring a bed, but I would not listen to him, for I was
suffering from injustice, and was therefore obstinate.  Besides, the
thought of the vermin frightened me, and I was afraid for my purse and
the jewels I had about me.

I spent a second night worse than the first, going to sleep from sheer
exhaustion, only to awake and find myself slipping off the bench.

Manucci came before eight o'clock, and my aspect shocked him.  He had
come in his carriage, bringing with him some excellent chocolate, which
in some way restored my spirits.  As I was finishing it, an officer of
high rank, accompanied by two other officers, came in and called out,--

"M. de Casanova!"

I stepped forward and presented myself.

"Chevalier," he began, "the Count of Aranda is at the gate of the prison;
he is much grieved at the treatment you have received.  He only heard
about it through the letter you wrote him yesterday, and if you had
written sooner your pains would have been shorter."

"Such was my intention, colonel, but a soldier .  .  .  ."

I proceeded to tell him the story of the swindling soldier, and on
hearing his name the colonel called the captain of the guard, reprimanded
him severely, and ordered him to give me back the crown himself.  I took
the money laughingly, and the colonel then ordered the captain to fetch
the offending soldier, and to give him a flogging before me.

This officer, the emissary of the all-powerful Aranda, was Count Royas,
commanding the garrison of Buen Retiro.  I told him all the circumstances
of my arrest, and of my imprisonment in that filthy place.  I told him
that if I did not get back that day my arms, my liberty, and my honour, I
should either go mad or kill myself.

"Here," I said, "I can neither rest nor sleep, and a man needs sleep
every night.  If you had come a little earlier you would have seen the
disgusting filth with which the floor was covered."

The worthy man was taken aback with the energy with which I spoke.  I saw
his feelings, and hastened to say,--

"You must remember, colonel, that I am suffering from injustice, and am
in a furious rage.  I am a man of honour, like yourself, and you can
imagine the effect of such treatment on me."

Manucci told him, in Spanish, that in my normal state I was a good fellow
enough.  The colonel expressed his pity for me, and assured me that my
arms should be restored to me, and my liberty too, in the course of the
day.

"Afterwards," said he, "you must go and thank his excellency the Count of
Aranda, who came here expressly for your sake.  He bade me tell you that
your release would be delayed till the afternoon, that you may have full
satisfaction for the affront you have received, if it is an affront, for
the penalties of the law only dishonour the guilty.  In this instance the
Alcalde Messa has been deceived by the rascal who was in your service."

"There he is," said I.  "Be good enough to have him removed, or else, in
my indignation, I might kill him."

"He shall be taken away this moment," he replied.

The colonel went out, and two minutes later two soldiers came in and took
the rogue away between them.  I never saw him again, and never troubled
myself to enquire what had become of him.

The colonel begged me to accompany him to the guard-room, to see the
thieving soldier flogged.  Manucci was at my side, and at some little
distance stood the Count of Aranda, surrounded by officers, and
accompanied by a royal guard.

The business kept us there for a couple of hours.  Before leaving me the
colonel begged me to meet Mengs at dinner at his house.

When I returned to my filthy prison I found a clean arm-chair, which I
was informed had been brought in for me.  I sat down in it immediately,
and Manucci left me, after embracing me again and again.  He was my
sincere friend, and I can never forgive myself the stupidity which made
me offend him grievously.  He never forgave me, at which I am not
surprised, but I believe my readers will agree with me in thinking that
he carried his vengeance too far.

After the scene which had taken place, the vile crowd of prisoners stood
gazing at me in stupid silence, and Marazzini came up to me and begged me
to use my offices for him.

Dinner was brought me as usual, and at three o'clock the Alcalde Messa
appeared and begged me to follow him, as he had received orders to take
me back to my lodging, where he hoped I should find everything in perfect
order.  At the same time he shewed me my arms, which one of his men was
going to bring to my house.  The officer of the guard returned me my
sword, the alcalde, who was in his black cloak, put himself on my left
hand, and thus I was escorted home with a guard of thirty constables.
The seals were removed from my apartment, and after a brief inspection I
pronounced that everything was in perfect order.

"If you had not a rascal and a traitor (who shall end his days in the
galleys) in your service, Senor Caballero, you would never have written
down the servants of his Catholic majesty as scoundrels."

"Senor Alcalde, my indignation made me write the same sentence to four of
his majesty's ministers.  Then I believed what I wrote, but I do so no
longer.  Let us forget and forgive; but you must confess that if I had
not known how to write a letter you would have sent me to the galleys."

"Alas! it is very likely."

I need not say that I hastened to remove all traces of the vile prison
where I had suffered so much.  When I was ready to go out my first
grateful visit was paid to the noble cobbler.  The worthy man was proud
of the fulfilment of his prophecy, and glad to see me again.  Donna
Ignazia was wild with delight--perhaps she had not been so sure of my
release--and when Don Diego heard of the satisfaction that had been given
me he said that a grandee of Spain could not have asked for more.  I
begged the worthy people to come and dine with me, telling them that I
would name the day another time, and they accepted gladly.

I felt that my love for Donna Ignazia had increased immensely since our
last meeting.

Afterwards I called on Mengs, who with his knowledge of Spanish law
expected nothing less than to see me.  When he heard of my triumphant
release he overwhelmed me with congratulations.  He was in his Court
dress--an unusual thing with him, and on my asking him the reason he told
me that he had been to Don Emmanuel de Roda's to speak on my behalf, but
had not succeeded in obtaining an audience.  He gave me a Venetian letter
which had just arrived for me.  I opened it, and found it was from M.
Dandolo, and contained an enclosure for M. de Mocenigo.  M. Dandolo said
that on reading the enclosed letter the ambassador would have no more
scruples about introducing me, as it contained a recommendation from one
of the Inquisitors on behalf of the three.

When I told Mengs of this he said it was now in my power to make my
fortune in Spain, and that now was the time when all the ministers would
be only too anxious to do something for me to make me forget the wrongs I
had received.

"I advise you," he said, "to take the letter to the ambassador
immediately.  Take my carriage; after what you have undergone for the
last few days you cannot be in a walking humour."

I had need of rest, and told Mengs that I would not sup with him that
night, but would dine with him the next day.  The ambassador was out, so
I left the letter with Manucci, and then drove home and slept profoundly
for twelve hours.

Manucci came to see me the next day in high spirits, and told me that M.
Girolamo Zulian had written to the ambassador on behalf of M. du Mula,
informing him that he need not hesitate to countenance me, as any
articles the Tribunal might have against me were in no degree prejudicial
to my honour.

"The ambassador," he continued, "proposes to introduce you at Court next
week, and he wants you to dine with him to-day; there will be a numerous
company at dinner."

"I am engaged to Mengs."

"No matter, he shall be asked as well; you must come.  Consider the
effect of your presence at the ambassador's the day after your triumph."

"You are right.  Go and ask Mengs, and tell the ambassador that I have
much pleasure in accepting his invitation."